Dear Husband

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. When someone cries so hard that it hurts their throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what you can do or attempt to do can change the situation. When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside –...

Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large t...

Each and every day, my life becoming sucks. I don't feel happy anymore. I was thinking of dying and crying… I give up on life on everything.. But as I have noticed on more than one occasion, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on. ~( +﹏+ )~

It seems like everything's over. I really wonder how could I be so stupid and naive. You never understand and I doubt you ever will. We both are egoistic and undeniably self-centred. I really want to refuse this feeling but it had penetrated deep inside my heart that throwing it aways is like neglecting a part of me. Maybe our ego had gotten the best of us, and then this happens to us. Maybe it's just our fate to be a forgotten chapter of life. I had really hoped to turn back time so that we can be like before, as close and open like before but somehow it seems impossible cuz we had drifted so far apart that the currents of life could never bring us back together again. I miss you so much, maybe too much. You're always there in my mind but how come emptiness is all that I feel? You used to fill me up with happiness and this other feeling that I could never be described. You were a part of me then and you always will be. Somehow...

I pretend to be strong, even when I’m not… It’s just who I am but the worst disadvantage of being too strong is that nobody cares even when you are hurt.

I am trying very hard to forget you. I try not to think of you. Very good that my hp spoil. If not, I think you will be receiving many messages. How I miss you so much. Do you miss me too?? I don’t think so. I have always been out from home to escape from all the memories. How is this happening? I can’t forever be like this is this kind of state. I pretend to be happy, laugh and stuff. But I know that I’m not fine. People can see like I’m having fun. But still you I think of.. I’m useless like you say. I think it’s true

To  love  at all is to be vulnerable.  Love  anything, and my heart will certainly be wrong and possibly broken. If I want to make sure of keeping it intact, I must give my heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of my selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  I can’t talk to you anymore, it’s not that I am mad at you, it’s just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can’t have you and that makes me love you even more. Isn’t this true, We enter relationships as a somebody and leave them as a nobody. When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death. I guess we all make mistakes sometimes But you were my biggest. My heart was taken by ...