Time Has Come

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and my heart will certainly be wrong and possibly broken. If I want to make sure of keeping it intact, I must give my heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of my selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. I can’t talk to you anymore, it’s not that I am mad at you, it’s just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can’t have you and that makes me love you even more. Isn’t this true, We enter relationships as a somebody and leave them as a nobody. When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death. I guess we all make mistakes sometimes But you were my biggest. My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it is in pieces because of you (Oh.. Im so sad to realize that..)

Love can be such pain at times. You’re the one who broke my heart, you’re the reason my world fell apart, you’re the one who made me cry, yet I’m still in love with you and I don’t know why! A million words would not bring you back, I know because I’ve tried, neither would a million tears, I know I’ve cried. Wanting you is hard to forget, loving you is hard to regret, losing you is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I’ve felt, letting go is the most painful yet. Sometimes the memories are worth the pain. and it’s so true. Sometimes I just have to hold my head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye. I need to learn to move on.

For a few minutes, you made me feel as though I actually meant something to you. That is what hurts me even more. I use to think it is holding on that makes me stronger, but it’s actually letting go. I made a choice to finally let go because I can’t stand the pain, it’s time for my last tear to fall and smile again.

Husband, I cried yesterday is not because I miss you or even wanted you but because I realized I’m gonna be all right without you. You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?  Or you just pretending not to know.

Sad isn’t it? How no matter what you do or say to me, when you come running back, when you need me again, I’ll be here right here waiting for you, I’ll take you back no questions asked. It really is sad, more so because it is so true. So from now on when you think of me just remember that I could’ve been the best thing you ever had. Hope you remember that!

But You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more then you deserve, why am I such a fool? You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself everything is ok. You wonder why I don’t talk to you anymore and please believe me when I say it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that everything I want to say I can’t tell you any more. I think it’s time I let you go and that is hard to do because part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. Because while I was holding on all you did was let go. Sometimes it’s better to be alone. No one can hurt me that way. I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have.

All I’m asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don’t feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go. I swear this time I’ll move on. Sometimes I think that all I need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is right in front of our eyes instead of just waiting to be found. No one can promise they’ll never hurt you because, at one time or another, it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spend together will be worth the pain in the end.

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that I’ve been lied to by you. Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Every time I see you all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that I am not over you but you are over me! Today was just one of those days where everything I did remind me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today because they remind me of the one thing I don’t have.

This time it’s over I’m keeping my heart, I’m gonna be strong and not fall apart it’ll get better, I’ll no longer cry in a couple of weeks, I won’t want to die, I won’t want to go back. I’ll be able to sleep, it won’t hurt so bad and it won’t hurt so deep! I would like to thank you, for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun and I guess these things just tend to fall apart and I hope you feel the same. Walking home drowning these memories in the rain biting my lip to transfer this pain, you're gone and I’m still going through withdrawals, next time around I’ll build a stronger wall. The worst of all you promised you’d never leave me, and that you’d always love me. You said that I was the only one for you and that you wouldn’t dream of hurting me because I am your wife. And you lied. So I want to say thank you. Thank you for teaching me that PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!