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Missing Us Previously

Each night when I’m alone, this is what I always do secretly. I browse back at all of our pics together from the beginning to now. I see how cheerful our pic is. As I turn to next pic to next pic to next pic, the feelings change. There is no smile or sun in it. All I see was sorrows full of darkness and hatred. I miss seeing the past us. I want it back that way. But it's like the hatred become stronger as days past.
With less love left to fight for and overcome it from nothing left. Struggling as much as I can to hold strong the few love left and hoping for each hatred turn to love and bygone. It's not easy doing it alone. When at times you hoping so much that you and he is not only about “marriage” to be with each other and spent time with. You want it to be out of “high” activity. But the hope always will crash. It hard to come true. Must it only be in my dream? Can’t realities be as what you dream of it? No one stays strong forever, not even brick. It will collapse when the time reach.
We are no longer together but your presence still lingers in my life. I miss you deeply but I can’t show it. You are my first. How can I ever forget you?


Im lying to myself. Lying to the one im with right now. Lying just to move forward. Only the question is “FOR HOW LONG SHOULD I LIE?”

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